So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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