I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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