just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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