we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We are two peas in an std pod
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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