I think i peed on brittanys purse
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
two words: eviction party
Dignity is for republicans.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize