im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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