The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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