so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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