Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
