Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
