I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
