So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
