Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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