i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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