hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
