It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
