I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
you never un-have a 4some
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
