YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
