pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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