I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
