So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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