Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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