Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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