There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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