Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
