She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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