wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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