just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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