First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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