i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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