Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
