Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
