Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
