If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
