nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
