Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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