I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
