She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
