He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
