Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
