I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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