No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
