time to smoke my breakfast
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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