go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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