just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
