Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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