she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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