i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
