direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
