Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
