Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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