We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
