He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
