You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
