i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
