dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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