I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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