if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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