Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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